Hey guys and girls,
Today I felt the need to address something that has been a constant tug and pull over the past 18 months, most of my life actually, but when you add another person to the equation, you start there.
I have an insane amount of anxiety, I seriously do.
Here’s a simple list that people like me have to go over in small daily activities.
At a restaurant, and you need the bathroom. What do you do? Normal people just go, while I sit and wait until it’s really bad and I ask the waiter a hundred times where the bathroom is just so I don’t get lost and look like an idiot.
You make plans with a friend to go to coffee, what do you do?. Normal people just go and sit by themselves if they’re to early. I tend to leave as close to the meeting time as possible so when I get there, the friend I’m meeting is sitting already and I can directly walk to her without people staring.
Driving in traffic, what do you do? Normal people sit there, listening to music and maybe throw the few cuss words. I edge closely on my seat, feeling like it will make the biggest difference to get out of there.
Asking for food at your boyfriends house, what do you do? Normal people make themselves at home after one point, but then theres me. I spent almost a year not touching their fridge or taps because I didn’t want to look rude.
Going to a party, what do you do? Normal people go without hesitation and have all their confidence ready. I tend to phone my friends an hour before, ask more questions, set up my outfit 2 weeks before, drink a little bit so that I’m calm, wonder who is there so that I can talk to someone, AND THE FAMOUS OF THEM ALL; PET THE DOG, IF THEY HAVE A DOG; IT’S AN AMAZING THING!
here’s how my boyfriend takes it:
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Come again?! like HOW.
Sure, he’s got the coolness of a cucumber; however, I don’t think we see eye to eye on somethings.
I vent quite a bit, and I do whine about things; and to no surprise, he doesn’t. I honestly could say the sky is blue and it would sound like I’m having a hard time accepting it. Nonetheless, my positivity will adjust it’s brightness display every now and then when I’m using too much of a negative software – using a tech analogy of myself, oh yeah.
It comes with no surprise that things can become interesting when the guy is totally unbothered by things and super calm while you’re sitting there, biting your nails and freakishly talking to yourself about how someone will steal your seat at the movies.
In the car……. “Oh my goodness, we have 40 minutes till the movie starts, what if there’s no popcorn and what if someone takes our seats?” – overreacting Jenna
“Bloody hell, we’ve got our tickets, we will get our seats and we can just tell them to move” – calm boyfriend tries to reassures.
Yeah, I would totally just sit on the floor. Yes this does happen. I go to the movies every 2 years so it’s a big deal. I’m sitting here while writing this thinking I need to be put outside for some Vitamin D.
I haven’t swum in the sea since I was 16-years-old, and while I point out that standing ankle deep and swimming head on are two very different things. I promise I’m not crazy.
My boyfriend however finds the magic in everything; he’s like the walking mantra for meditating.
“Oh, I’m going to do this, wanna come with?” – he says with a confident tone in his voice.
“Um, No thanks, I’m gonna wait here and let me know if I must do something” – I sound like the most fun person ever.
I am witty. I get to share it with you guys and my loved ones.
I’m an introvert, so yes, it’s difficult to talk to people when you haven’t left your house since summer.
Courtesy of – Lize Van Wyk (LVW photography)